Testimony Meeting

I'm going to be honest, I mostly don't like going to Sacrament Meeting. Being a "single mom" during this hour is NOT fun. It mostly is like an episode of WWF. We have "Sugar" and "Spice" in this corner and "Struggling Mom" in this corner. They usually win. By the end of the hour my clothes are wrinkled and sometimes ripped, I have Cheerio spit on my shirt, I have numeously flashed the lucky person that came in late and HAD to sit by us, I've played referee and broken up fights and whew...there is still two hours to go. Last week during Fast and Testimony Meeting I wasn't especially feeling the spirit, but I wanted a small break from the madness, so I thought I'd get up and bear my testimony. I told Zack to sit quietly by Sister Isaac because I was going to bear my testimony. Well, Zack whispered that he wanted to say his testimony. It was a very proud moment as both a mother and Primary leader. Then the "oh-no" thought came...what will he say??? So I gave him a hug and told him I was proud of his choice and asked him what he wanted to say. He told me, "I'm thankful for Brother Cooper (his Primary teacher) and I love him. I love my family. I love Jesus and want him to be happy and love me." WOW! I was pretty impressed with this four year old's first testimony. He was so confident and sure of himself and I hadn't even prompted him. So I handed Taylor off and Zack and I held hands and headed up to the pulpit. We got up there and he FREAKED!!! He started screaming, yes...screaming that he didn't want to do it! He didn't want "nobody" looking at him. I tried to pick him up and hold him but he flailed out of my arms. There I stood facing everybody looking like a deer in headlights. I tried to compose myself and just bear Zack's testimony for him. He keeps popping his head up and saying "NO! I don't wanna do it!" Then he tries to make a run for it. As he is running away he trips down the step and falls forehead first onto the ground. Everyone gasps and there I am having an out of body experience by now. It was like I could see it all happening but couldn't move or make it stop! I guess this was my punishment for using an opportunity to bear my testimony as a "break" from my kids. SIGH!!!!